I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
