Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
