I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
