We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
