He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize