We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
