is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she pinky promised me she was 18
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize