He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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