I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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