I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
as a side note pls kill me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
