So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The air taste purple.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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