I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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