yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
