i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
