The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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