walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
