we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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