so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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