why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize