we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
