You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
