So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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