I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
