Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize