wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
