Me too!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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