I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
