just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize