i think my mom watched the whole time
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
