we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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