Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
