Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
