what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
