dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
