Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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