Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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