His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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