Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
