4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
