she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it wasn't lemon gatorade
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
