Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
