But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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