My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
