Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I pour the whiskey from now on
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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