you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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