Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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