i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
