My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
