After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
