i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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