I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
never play flip cup with pint glasses
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
