Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
