how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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