An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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