i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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