I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
