forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
