Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
