we're blogging at a bar
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
