adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
