he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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