so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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