Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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