I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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