"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
