he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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