just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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